Latest Entries


“Get up, come on get down with the sicknessGet up, come on get down with the sicknessGet up, come on get down with the sicknessOpen up your hate, and let it flow into me” Disturbed , song lyrics from Down with the Sickness I’ve gotten it all wrong. Working to stay out of that incubator, … Continue reading


There have been good years There have been bad years. Years I longed and yearned for death, and ones I lusted and fought for life. Times that have found me on the ground, and others that have been surprised to find me standing. Months that were more like Dickens novels than Mitford paperbacks and ones … Continue reading


an excerpt from a WIP- Suicide Blondes I sat on the bank as the car sank deeper and deeper. Jet was on her way. Itwouldn’t be long now. Would she believe what had happened? Did I? “You’re ready.” was all she’d told me when she dumped Sarah off. Ready…how exactly can a person be ready … Continue reading


What will you do with your day of defiance? Your waking, putting one foot on the floor then the other. Just by opening your eyes, greeting the day you have defied all that came against you yesterday. The sickness, the stressors, the machines you piloted at full speed down roads you did not make and … Continue reading


At night, when the thoughts rush in, when my chest is tight and I think through the day, jump ahead to the next, feel a panic taking root like a strong and thorny weed in shallow soil, I close my eyes and breathe in, hold onto it, then breathe out. I take in the air … Continue reading


Sometimes the thing that keeps me here the one thing, (and you only need one) is to show you. To be a living reminder of what you’ve done, what you’ve allowed, of what you’ve caused. When I walk down the hall, wondering if I can take the next step because it feels as if someone … Continue reading


I can see the miracle that was you, now years later, in full, I see how you survived what many never would. The fists of your mother meeting your skin. Scriptures scrawled on ceilings. Piano playing while you sat in the congregation watching the tormentor who’d just beaten you up in front, for all to … Continue reading


“Put the cushion on it!” my grandma hissed, pulling a couch pillow down to hide the juice stain from where’ I’d spilled on the carpet. It was the only dishonest thing I ever saw her do, but I didn’t blame her. I knew the stakes. We sat holding our breath, listening as Pa Jesse’s steps … Continue reading


This life, it’s very warlord nature, has torn through my streets chopping off the noses of all the prized idols I sculpted, created, carved painstakingly with my hands and so few tools. One by one, they’ve been disfigured, left prostrate, in full view to remind me- I get to have nothing I want, those sickly … Continue reading